such is life
Ramzan is here, underpass has been made..nights are slighlty chilly now. Everything is leading up to some change that might be in a transition of hopefuly something better. Asad is going to be here in 3 weeks and i am just praying to God that once he is here things are good. At times it becomes really difficult to be the only daugheter/son in the house and your siblings are not around. When parents don't exactly love the idea of hanging out together, when you are the person who brings peace, when mum is more then worried about who will marry you. When all this is happening around you, there comes a point when you scream, bang the chai ka mug on the table(oh god not on the first of ramazan)you leave the table crying..noone is listening to you because there is noone who is like you in the house. And guess who is hurt after this, no not you but abba who goes in his room to sleep and amma who goes off and shuts the door. I didnt even eat, but i screamed and i cried so obviously i am guilty.
then about 2 hrs later i am aske to change clothes because these two aunties are coming to see me. Strangely at this point i felt really bad for my mother.I mean i will say no to these random rishtas that come but she has to sit with the people for me and i dont know why she does it but she does. I met the ladies, they were ok but they are not me and i am assuming nor is their brother who they had come for.
If only ammi would not feel the need to be a ceratin way because supposedly it is required of her.
i want asad to come back.but i know he wont be able to adjust back into home mode being away for so long. He should just enjoy the novelty treatment while he is here.
sometimes i think to myself that i should not bother with people and i am that close to saying it to them only to shut up and be normal. I am just too there for certain people.and i guess if then i amtaken for granted its partly my doing. dont know?
then about 2 hrs later i am aske to change clothes because these two aunties are coming to see me. Strangely at this point i felt really bad for my mother.I mean i will say no to these random rishtas that come but she has to sit with the people for me and i dont know why she does it but she does. I met the ladies, they were ok but they are not me and i am assuming nor is their brother who they had come for.
If only ammi would not feel the need to be a ceratin way because supposedly it is required of her.
i want asad to come back.but i know he wont be able to adjust back into home mode being away for so long. He should just enjoy the novelty treatment while he is here.
sometimes i think to myself that i should not bother with people and i am that close to saying it to them only to shut up and be normal. I am just too there for certain people.and i guess if then i amtaken for granted its partly my doing. dont know?
posted by ~meyum & a half~ at 7:26 PM
7 Comments:
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beautiful...all just gets ok at the end of the day....if being the only child around is not easy, believe me being the eldest child around is much much tougher!!!
*hugz*
hope you feel better!
i wish i could do something!
*sowee*
i agree with kat. and man, you guys have no idea what it feels like being the youngest! you have to do everything that your elder siblings did and a little more to prove some point(?).
p.s. i am SO against the rishta aunties. but then you might wanna look at jammie's walk of wife and you'd feel different. i mean that woman makes me want to get married at 21! how freaky is that? - the point is: feel better. :)
*HUGG* a big one!
hmmm..i think it all comes down to a ceratin time in life..i am youngest aswell and its pretty much how i choose to take my battles on and win em too!
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