Wednesday, March 14, 2007


and so it is, just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me all of the time,
can't take my eyes off you, i cant take my eyes of you.

HMMM, i cant talk so i shall write. Why i can't talk is a 235276million dollor question!!!
marium had a tooth transplant surgery done yesterday. Ideally it should have done as this major beautification deed to make the smile loook like another million dollor element.The story is a little contradictory, a million dollors were spent doing this so marium does not loose the rest of the killer smile which is left.
after 6 years of not bothering she finally gave in and went to the holy place called a dental clinic, surgery was schedualed and as fadii and many other people had told her, she wopuld be sedated and wouldnt know a thing. MArium would simply wake up to a ll work done zone, hai, Dr kshif told her the exact opposite, "Sweetheart",he said. you will be alive through this you wont feel a thing but you will know it all. That was all marium needed to know in order to have her nerves and arteries collapse right there, which eventually resulted in a canula being poked 4 times in her till they found a vein that was able to hold the goddamn piece of plastic in her left hand. Groggy, she lay down and two people in crumpled fresh scrubs took a go at her mouth, 4 needles poked here and there in the gum to numb it..ouchhhh!!!"sweety you are the best ,, so calm, keep it up we just took it out. i am putting a screw in blah blah" Dr kshif kept on ressuring her. She was nervous oh yes, but kept on mentally doinmg whoooooooooosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh fame of bad boys 2!!
there was a little thing attached to my right hand forefinger to chk heart rate,doc knew everytime i stopped breatheing or became scared.
Initially when i was being drugged doc aasked how much i drank(not water) in aday so he could drug me accordingly. i felt all that was going on, the drilling the carving the pressure and i just thought..shit what if there was n numbness i would have died right here. hahahhaha world peace would have been confirmed then!!!;)
it got over with a couple of lectures from doc kashif. I came out slightly swaying..not from falling in love but from being a druggoholic. Fadii ma man came to pick me and got another million instructions from doc, he smiled and heard em all. NOW HE HAD AN EDGE OVER ME, it was time for "come back" time. For the first time i was quiet with him, just nodding smiling and sleeping. We got medicines and headed to kats house. Today was not exactly the day when i should ahve landed on kats head... her attention and focus was on more lifetime things then world peace thanks to me..hehehehhehe.. deatils i cant give:)
With a loopsided smile i practised "boltay hath" and became a pro. I never imagined i could remain chup for so long, the only thing i was dreading and still am is not being able to eat..only liquids. i ahd some very caring people msgng and acquiring in their own funny ways as to how i was doing. Amma and abba picked me up around 10 and i wentr back home...been communicating through writing and flowery notepad. Its fun, i am enjoying the no talking part without having to explain it. Just watched In Pursuit of happyness, Will smith was great. It was a nice movie..makes you think.
and now i am groggy again and writing, BUT also bored and alone, i wish both my siblings were around, and i wish i didnt live so far that noone could drop by..hahah i am whining
ok time to post this...
"i hope for world peace, but can the world please do that with me talking as oppsoed to not:)"

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

wait...wednesday wanderings

Photobucket - Video and Image Hostinglife lately is crazy, hectic, fun and madness magnified. Sans Indus, the safety it provided and the comfort of being in a space that is very known to me is gone. Earlier into this year, it was just anticipations. Going here and there, figuring out what to do, suddenly feeling alone dejected and very very upset. How will i do this?i shouldnt have quit school, is doing an exhibition even worth considering?the wait of not knowing and finding a place to be was drawing me into a strange place.
random thought,"i just want you to know who i am".
Cut to feb, i got a job!!!!i am now officially an art teacher to 20 some kids at Ilmesters Academy. Calling them kids is infact an understatement, they are tiny...youngest being 4 and max 8. I am "aunty marium" to most and "teacher" to some. it's perfect!!mashallah..this one wait is over. I teach them art, get them to design things. These kids are very creative, not very aware but superbly fun and would try anything,"where i need to hold them a little bit, know what i mean":).
Tomorrow is the first parent teacher meeting, the first in my life atleast. Today as all teachers got together to get a breifing for this meeting, i sat around listeing, nodding, giving two bits and doodling...yes i had a pink and orange pen on me;)
I have gotten the art studio(previously called art room" painted. Got the kids to make aluminum foil planets and they are hanging from the ceiling. It looks beautiful, suddenly there are 6 more soft borads all around school that i am expoected to fill up with work...hmmm.. and the work has to go back to kids home as well and fill up the class...hmmmm...
yes!!for a second i was the hell will i do all this?get room painted, put up work, make sure the kids do something new everyday..hmmmmwow!!
tough but very doable:)
yesterday i was looking at a freinds portfolio and there was tremendous amount of work she has done ever since we graduated. I realised that i hardly have anything, mostly it's been teaching for the past 4 years and the odd time i did get i designed clothes.
SOOOOOOO that is going to be my portfolio, i will feel proud because i have taught some amazing oldies and now kiddos and to top it all i get to make clothes for people i love!!!
well that lobve shall be shared now since along with working i am putting an exhibit up first week of May inshallah.
in the midst of all this, i started working as an art director..ummm hmmmmmmm..yes never thought i could do that!!it was total accident. Umar Anwar aka very good friend ,amazing director (claim to fame: strings mera bichra yar) and now boss:) i somehow landed there and just recent;y did the first project which was an ad for samsung...very scray experinece i must say and the only thing that kept me going was the fact that i know Umar and was comfortable with him. This was total first time for me, and i had umar showing me the ropes the whole while. Learnt a lot!!!
welll this is how crazy things ahve been, i just hope and pray that the wait has been worth it and it will be worth it for everything i have waited for:)
p.s update:fadi has a new job waiting for better, kat is going crazy with work waiting for swimming, jam will have baby jam...waiting cutely

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Faith

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Sunday, January 07, 2007

stuck in a rut?

As a human race, we are always in that phase where past grievances and grudges hold us down. Things and relationships that are important, fly away, wither and die because sometimes our ego and sometimes our relationships with our loved ones come in the way. I keep thinking that my parents are stuck in that old rut where, the human relationship cycle keeps repeating itself. They too at one point were thinking the same thing. I don’t want to be in that situation with myself and with my kids, nor do I want to instill this school of thought in them. Can I help it though? Lots of things occur in our lives where we think that the worse has happened to us and someone has hurt us so so bad. The last thing we want is our best friends, siblings family anyone to have any association with them. It is happening in my family and it almost like a recap of things with the previous generation. Things are just going on and on.but heck, there is no perfect world where everything is smooooooth. The feeling of being torn, the extremities we set in our lives. Is this a result of having too many expectations? Is it an insecure domination? Are we just scared?or is this just my Libran nature speaking out loud?

Thursday, January 04, 2007

it takes time...blogthought of the day

i have prolly been most out of it where blogging is concerned..just not able to put down a million and one things bouncing in my head..
i wanted to write a long post when my neice was born last month..just ended up putting alvias picture up. Another post related to the shadi delima/galore happening in family was much needed but it didnt materialise.I am not a resolution person but new years had me thinking of yet another year passing(amazing and horrible at the same time)and ofcourse a post was due.Majorchange came through with deciding to leave school and take time off..the uncertanity of future with no job and nothing concrete.
All this has led me into a major thinking mode..infact the entire last year for me has been a thinking sorting mode..not saying much,major relationship changes etc etc.
it takes just about the perfect thing that i could say right now..infact i wrote it to a friend last night who i have not been in touch with a lot has come between us in the past year..i love her and i miss her, but it's just not possible to get back into things right away and even though we both have hurt each other it can't be fixed just like that...
i am trying to be patient, yet not letting anyone mess with me now, putting my foot down where i have to..
i am waiting,and now i will not compromise...even if it takes time

Thursday, December 21, 2006

omkara at kara!

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itni sardi hai kisi ka lihaaf lai layy!!wah!
Kara showcased Omkara on 16th and 17th Dec, Ajay Devagan(hotie and a half) graced the occasion. I saw the movie on 17th afternoon with a couple of crazy friends, and like a mega cheapantonic person i took my latest indulgance(digicam) out and took pictures of Mr. Devgan.Personal fav is the shadow one of Ajay and Hassan Zaidi.
It's an amazing movie, must watch,yes it's a adaptation of Othelo and i don't know if justice has been done but it's amazing nonetheless. Ajay devgan as Omkara(transforme actor), Saif as langra(wow acting) and Vivek as kesu.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

meyum again..alvia born on 15thDec06(NYwild child)

on 15th Dec06, alviaa ali rizvi was born..another baby girl
to call me meyum (new terminology for khaala)nashia my sister
is not here..delivered the baby all the way in la la land
and i wont see her till a month later:(
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