love of life or love in life

in all my life..i can safely say that no real relationship has surfaced in my life for more than a month. ha!!thats the truth whole truth. no real, this is it..i know what i am doing even if i dont type relationship..nothing.so in retrospect maybe thats what keeps me in the nutshell. i either give too much or expect too much or maybe just dont do it right..or do everything right at the wrong time for the right or wrong person.so i havent really had a real relatioship..wow!i think i just said that outloud..and something that i considered to be one was never it...
something somewhere got screwed. and i didnt get the love of my life..there was love IN my life,,but no love of my life..ah!is there a diff?maybe maybe not..i guess i just dont know. but i am proud of the fact that i have had love in life..so what if. its has been mine and mine alone
i almost sound petty.
but yeh truth time tha:)