reality bites

even when your heart is screaming and you are crying, it really makes a differance to to be able to laugh out loud, sing like mad..dance away..curb the sinking feeling inside, the ever flowing tears. One person says,"where is the twinkle in your eyes, you seem to be laughing BUT???"
and you break down, but then wipe your tears get back be happy and just keep the cycle going till you break down again or learn to go on.

so whats going on???

A very interesting discussion with a very amazing friend in the early hours of the morning led to a big question. What exactly is going on in a woman’s head when she is out there? How is her mind working when faced with a certain situation with someone?
What are we really thinking when walking down the road, or while entering a wedding, dancing conversing or any thing which puts us in a situation of knowing that we are being watched! Someone somewhere is looking, thinking making up a mind set, having an opinion etc?
Yes, indeed too many questions and hardly any answers. I was asked, “Why do women generally write men off as someone cheap if we so much so as smile at them from across the room, given that we don’t know them? How can you be so quick to judge a man and Not given him a chance. Do you not realize that it takes guts to even do that, to get that courage out to be able to just smile at someone or go up to them to strike a conversation. Why is it an immediate turn of back and an instant NO!!!?”
Very spontaneously I said “there are too many bastards lurking around!” How true or generalized this statement is not the issue, but I did understand where this whole “why why why” was coming from.
There are so many women who do all of the above, just to not let her image get spoilt as someone easy, yet they expect the man to come around again…and it becomes easy to consider because the man has made the second move after the first rejection. I would say if I were a man that, whoaa you shut me off completely the first time around and just so you can have your ego in place, I am supposed to come around again..but what the heck...i will come around again if I am interested enough!!!
What qualifies as interested? It’s a YEAH RIGHTT!! Statement but really a man could just be looking to have someone to talk to or just hang around with. Yes, no, maybe???
So it’s all a state of confusion…women trying to stay back for obvious reasons and a little hesitant to make the first move and men are finding guts and are still afraid of rejection...yes they are...very afraid indeed.
So the big question. “Why are we doing what we are doing?”
It’s a jumble of uncountable queries, and I am just trying to put it across as food for thought..
Try and make sense of that!!!!

touch wood:)some days are just perfect, you even sleep a content sleep

madness vs sanity

There is everyone’s happiness around you and you are absolutely overjoyed for them and in every moment.YET! There is your nagging in mind, pinching you taking you back to your reality. Your reality could be your unhappiness or your crazy happiness or love or just a daily life balancing, whatever it is its there. Everyday I wake up with a good thought, knowing that someone close to me is so happy these days and then there is someone so close to me so unhappy and then there is me who is taking life at a daily level, trying not to think of the next few days. It’s all a balancing act, especially when the unhappy one is trying her best to camouflage her emotions; well that’s her way of dealing with things. Sometimes you do get fooled, also because on the other side the other person who is so close to you is so happy so you start getting the happy vibes from everyone.
People always say that one should be able to talk to people about how they feel, there should be some one who you say everything to, but really I have been thinking, are people who you want to say everything to are they even ready to accept what you are saying. Yes this could be a test of friendship etc etc, but still at times you know that the other person will either judge you or maybe what you want to say to them it's related to them and it will prolly back fire when you actually say it out to them.
So here's to taking everyday as it comes.

every day i think to myself..i will shut my ears off will not listen to anything anyone says and everyday i become a proud tape recorder, recording every detail of pride happiness anguish hatered anger love.