questions

so why dont i do the things that are the back of my head.
the ways i want to maybe teach, or live why am not applying it.
is there a fear or just lack of it.
and why is it that every other day i am waking up
with a sinking feeling and not being able to explain it.
captain o captain. do i need a captain.?

if there is something that you want to do but cannot let
anyone know of it for whatever reason. Go ahead and let
them know of your passion and go ahead and do it.
Go and conquer the world today. let people know what you are made of.
fight the battles, pick them up and fight them and win them!!!
and then the credits rolled on.

stranger

and then a stanger, someone you barely know comes and makes it ok.and somehow you find yourself pouring your heart out that one person. Everything else and everyone else seems too daunting too *we know you so well*
so whats wrong with knowing someone so well and wanting to make things ok.

Good Will Hunting

The kind of life we all lead these days, where everything is urgent(should have been done yesterday types) and we keep thinking of ourselves, where are we going? whats the next best way to tackle life?etc etc. While all this happens , a parallel existance is happening where we meet people, make friends, hang around, bother about things and people, fall in love with every beautiful thing,gesture. But then one day with one person you feel helpless, like you cant get through to them, you give them a hug they feel better and then its closure again.
The way i see it, all of us go through this, and choose to be open about it or not, and sometimes its ironic when you are down and someone is trying to cheer to up but we sap all energy from them and when we are ok that instant they are down. i dont know how much of this makes sense, but as of right now its breaking my heart that my madness,bubbliness, smileness nothing is working. Everything starts revolving around this feeling of not being able to do something, i know the counter argument would be "dont tread too much into that territory if the other person is sensitive, or atlesat you are there just be there or you must be making a diff on some level" but it all falls short to that deep rooted feeling inside you that says"i want every single thing to be ok for this person". My mind is going in a billion diff directions. Chances are (especially with our own friends or same age group people) we all go thru the same thing and know what its like to have someone just wanting to hug you make it ok for you, or just say something silly and cheer you up. I can just thank God that i have people like that and pray that i am that to someone or most people i know.
Watched a very beautiful movie last night, where a small girl teaches a man how to love, how to live his life again just by being there for her. She is small and honest, no pretty packaged words no drama, just very very genuine. It can all change and it can all be ok, even if its for alittle bit, the imapct is lasting.:)

ok so people go mad when they have a cold!!!!when its this hot!

very very excited i called up jammie, the only person i know who would share my news with absolute passion and madness.
hey jammie..blah bla blah blah, iftar, chai , tired, etc etc
aray pata hai kyaaaaa..abhisekh aur amitabh ki mangni ho gai hai.
huh!
jammie huh!
snicker on both sides
and THENNNN!!!
hahahhahahhahahahha
hahhahahahhahahhahah
on the floor tears falling
hahahhahahhahahahah
GODDDD!!!!mariummm
hhahhahahhaha
laughed and laughed an laughed
slipped off the bed laughing...HHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH
no no i mean..hahhahaha
abhie..hahah.sheikh hahahha aur ranii mukerjee hahahhahah
oh noo....phew...sniff
this was the only thing which made the news even more amazing..
but bhai bohat ala
abhisheikh aur amitabh
hahhahahhahaha
for 3 continous minutes we laughed like crazy mad psychotic people!
i havent laughed this openly and madly in daysssssssssss

Dear God,

Today i marvelled at the strength we have in us as people of a Nation. Today with everything in shammbles, how everyone is coming together can make anyone proud.I just hope God that all of this serves a purpose and we can change things, change fates and stand on our two feet again.
It's sad that it took a calamity like this to bring us together but it did and we are all in it hook line sinker!
Maybe it's time we prayed to you God that we are capable, capable of being good people and proving ourselves as the people you had envisioned.All this makes your existance even more real.
Real people facing Reality, but coming together to make it better.
Who ever reads this please say a small prayer for the people who have lost their lives.

People The Alumni Association Of Indus Valley School of Art and Architecture has set up a Relief Fund booth at Indus Valley. Please come forward and help out in whatever way you can. It's open from 9 am to 5pm.
Yes i know people have been donating everywhere, but this is on going so please come forward once again.
Thankyou
you can contact me at
03002001086
Marium Ali

such is life

Ramzan is here, underpass has been made..nights are slighlty chilly now. Everything is leading up to some change that might be in a transition of hopefuly something better. Asad is going to be here in 3 weeks and i am just praying to God that once he is here things are good. At times it becomes really difficult to be the only daugheter/son in the house and your siblings are not around. When parents don't exactly love the idea of hanging out together, when you are the person who brings peace, when mum is more then worried about who will marry you. When all this is happening around you, there comes a point when you scream, bang the chai ka mug on the table(oh god not on the first of ramazan)you leave the table crying..noone is listening to you because there is noone who is like you in the house. And guess who is hurt after this, no not you but abba who goes in his room to sleep and amma who goes off and shuts the door. I didnt even eat, but i screamed and i cried so obviously i am guilty.
then about 2 hrs later i am aske to change clothes because these two aunties are coming to see me. Strangely at this point i felt really bad for my mother.I mean i will say no to these random rishtas that come but she has to sit with the people for me and i dont know why she does it but she does. I met the ladies, they were ok but they are not me and i am assuming nor is their brother who they had come for.
If only ammi would not feel the need to be a ceratin way because supposedly it is required of her.
i want asad to come back.but i know he wont be able to adjust back into home mode being away for so long. He should just enjoy the novelty treatment while he is here.
sometimes i think to myself that i should not bother with people and i am that close to saying it to them only to shut up and be normal. I am just too there for certain people.and i guess if then i amtaken for granted its partly my doing. dont know?

i cant believe i am writing this first day of Ramzan but i am!
I AM JUST A FUCKING NAME IN YOUR LIFE
I AM A FUCKING LOSER WHO YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME
I AM A FUCKING IDIOT WHO CARES
I AM THE FUCKING CHILD YOU DEAL WITH BECAUSE OTHERS ARE NOT HERE
I AM FUCKING MISUNDERSTOOD FOR BEING MYSELF
EVERYONE ELSE IS FUCKING AMAZING BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT HERE
AND WHEN THEY ARE YOU FUCKING LOVE THEM
FO GOD'S SAKE I AM FUCKING HUMAN!!!!

KARACHI-the yellow light city

geared up, on the go, some have the guts to break free and move

*love you yellow light city*

and the numbers will not make sense..they never do!

1 dose of madness i need everyday
2 times i generally trip*over anything anyone*in a month
3 siblingsssss
4 friends i would want to always be with
5 reasons to make you smile through my madness
6 movies i have lying around and havent seen
7 i dont remember as a age
8 songs i can sing out loud anytime
9 different chocolates i love
10 times 2 is 20
11 no of mintues i have been writing this
12
13 the drama begins
14 cousins
15 ?
16 giggling fits with random people friends in a day
17?
18?
19 passions i am trying to list down and accomplish
20?
21 i should have been married with kids
22
23 life happened for me
24
25
26 fell in love *i think*
27 feeling fantastically freakishly funny!

(there will be more numbers for everyone and

only you can make them into a life

that you see yourself in..might not make sense otherwise.)

When you are 27 and you know it…
Clap your hands:
The mad crazy girl in you is asking for it
Tap your feet:
When your friends make you want to dance always
Snap your fingers:
Because things are within reach
Say hoorayyyyy:
For there is a lot of friends, a lot of love, a lot of magic
a lot of spontaneity , a lot of madness and lot of “looking forward”.

When you are 27 and you know it and you really want to feel it
Clap your hands, tap your feet, snap your fingers, say hoorayyyy!