Advacnced Friends

jammie and i had a our usual friday class ...this first class has been a pretty interseting insight into the minds of these 19 yr old and i must add that this is something that keeps me hooked to my work...
anyway today one kid got up and got around to talking about the "going out" culture prevailing in karachi and more so our generation... the question raised was "should you be in love woth the person you are "going out" with ..and he promtly answered that when going out is something known as "advanced friends" you are not just friends but a little something more. What amazed me was this 19 yr old having such a clear idea of what relationships meant..atleast to his own understanding. although he did turn around and said that he doesnt ever want to get married because "i dont think i am committed enough to take care of someone for the rest of her life" hmmm maybe he has yet to meet her..who knows.

simple things..this is what dreams are made of.the key is to believe in them and have some faith in yourself. there will always be times when people will tell you that the right thing to do is this or that and you are foolish for doing what you are doing.
everything that a person goes through, it feels good to talk it out and best to talk it out to people they dont know because no one is judging...they will give you a fresh new perspective and thats great.but when you think about it..anything that they will say will be the "right answer" the way to do it given your situation..they dont know who you are, what is your every morning like..all the little things that make the larger picture, big decisions and all that.
so again.. maybe at times we complicate life by adding too much to it..or saying a lot to everyone..who knows

KARACHI

with everything related to my city...
did i ever mention i love the way it sounds in my mouth when i say it
KARACHIIIII! KARACHI
woooohooooooooooooo!
its so full and satisfying to say KARACHI

love of life or love in life

in all my life..i can safely say that no real relationship has surfaced in my life for more than a month. ha!!thats the truth whole truth. no real, this is it..i know what i am doing even if i dont type relationship..nothing.so in retrospect maybe thats what keeps me in the nutshell. i either give too much or expect too much or maybe just dont do it right..or do everything right at the wrong time for the right or wrong person.so i havent really had a real relatioship..wow!i think i just said that outloud..and something that i considered to be one was never it...
something somewhere got screwed. and i didnt get the love of my life..there was love IN my life,,but no love of my life..ah!is there a diff?maybe maybe not..i guess i just dont know. but i am proud of the fact that i have had love in life..so what if. its has been mine and mine alone
i almost sound petty.
but yeh truth time tha:)

logic..hmmm

we all do things in the hope of fixing things, wanting to make it better. In our own capacity we want to please ourselves and also not hurt anyone else. Some of us work with our heart and some of us just play on the back of "but this is the practical way" or just good old logic. i am not defying logic or being practical, its just that what we might think as the practical solution maybe hasnt gotten our best heartfelt effort and we just give up because the larger picture shows that it aint gonna work. I read somewhere, "you can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough. You must want it with an exhuberance that erupts through the skin and joins the energy that created the world". Now if this is what it takes then, its not logic but guts that drive you to the ultimate. But you NEED to WANT it enough, to look beyond practicality and go for it, take the risk, fight the norms even when you know its not going to happen..but hey atleast at some point in life you will think to yourself "i took the risk, i didnt let it be". Yeh it is a done deal that risk taking will always involve risk in everything...sanity, relationships etc etc and we today int his world dont have the capacity to fight all of tht..but when you look for that ceratin CHANGE in life then..and you say..i must get up and go to the room marked DO NOT ENTER..you do so with the knowledge of knowing that everything changes and thats what change is about..I wish the case were diff where you could change yet the comfortable things in life that we are so used to, the people around us our relatiosnhips stay as they are...
gear up for some change world...i am coming your way!

a realisation

its a realization to move on which hits you suddenly..its mixed with a sinking feeling but its hits you nonetheless

tobasco olives and hot vanilla sauce

little spontaneous things always always put your life a notch higher on the "feeling good" scale. so what if it was not supposed to be this way..we let it happen and it was most comfortable. thats the diff being a friend can make..change perspectives and moods:)
thanks "two", love ...half!

"falling ill gives your friends and people who care a chance to show you how much they love you...sort of like a chance to prove themselves haina?" hussys words to jammie.
made so much sense

06

it changed to 00:00 01-Jan 06 and i watched it change and for no apprent or obvious reason i smiled and reverted to watching "the shop girl". how will this year be like?hmmm i dont know and im dying to know but its kind of nice that there will be plenty of surprises like every year. for me there are no resolutions..umm i never make them, there is always a thought in my head of some change that i want...
the past year has been a roller coater ride and the last month felt like being in a bottle with ice and liquid and being shaken up...cocktail month...bitter sweet.